I had rules. I made them for a reason. I broke them and just want to bang my head against the wall for being so stupid. So once again I'm "single" and I just don't get it anymore. When I entered this latest "relationship" I wasn't looking for anything. I was really happy with me. I was alone but I was ok with it.
It just happened and I didn't even want to blog about it because I knew I broke every rule. But, I liked him and he made me smile. He made me feel amazing, he would just stare at me and tell me how beautiful I was, how could I not fall? He spent so much time with me always wanting to touch me, not even in a sexual way. Just a way that made me feel cared for and wanted. I was beginning to fall for it. I actually believed that someone thought I was amazing and wanted to spend time with me.
I didn't ask for anything, I made it clear that I wanted to take my time and just see where it went - so where did I go wrong? How could I be so blind? Why did I believe that when he looked at me it was because he saw me and liked it.
I'm not crushed, I'm just sad. I tell myself that it's not me, he just wasn't in the same place as me. Why waste my time then? Why tell me how pretty and funny and good and wonderful I am? Why make plans with me? Why enter my life?
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3 comments:
I'm so,so sorry. It must be so difficult when you actually let yourself hope and believe that maybe, just maybe, this time it's for real...only to find out later that it isn't. {{Hugs}}
I could really use one of your poems about now!
Are you referring to something specific that I wrote or in general?
Hope you had a good day..I've been thinking of you..
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